Tuesday, August 5, 2008

What is the Pep+o for verbal diarrhea?

Okay, I've realized for a long time I talk way too much and way too loud. The loud part I'm not sure what I can do without obsessing about it and that would make me really unhappy to be that controlling of how I am. I try to dial it down when I hear it, and being around my family helps they are all exactly the same and it lets me hear it and recognize it. The only things I have found my volume level useful for is ordering drinks in a loud bar and leading Sound Off. :) Oh and if needed, I can speak to a large room and everyone can hear without amplification, but I've never spoke to a large enough group to make that impressive. Any votes for how many poeple I could handle in about my normal speaking voice? I'm thinking at least 200. ;)

But I'd like to work on the verbal diarrhea. I'm in a class right now and it is so obvious and annoying to me. I have NO filter. It's not going to be good for me at work in the long run.
I think the top 3 aspects are; interrupting by starting to speak before someone is done; finishing people's sentences; and wanting to answer every question, or even offer unsolicited help.

The first part might be helped by really trying to be a better listener, and to do that you have to keep your trap closed until the other person closes theirs. And not be thinking about what I would say. I think I am listening a lot because I do have something to say back, but I miss things. Maybe starting with the sales tool, "I think what I just heard you say is ..., is that right?"

My mom exacerbated the finishing sentences, she stops and waits for me to do it or asks me to all the time. I tell her to "use her words" now. My boss stops mid-sentence all the time and doesn't finish the thought, but I've tried really hard not to guess the ending and I think I'm doing ok.

I'm not sure what to do about answering everything and giving unsolicited "help". Stop and count to 5 or 10 and see if someone else will talk? Try thinking to myself what I would do? I even make little noises when I think of something and don't say it. I'm afraid I am incredibly desperate for attention, from a chil dhood of not seeing my parents much and now living alone for the last 8 years. How can I 'warn' someone on my M@tch profile and make it sound like a positive?

I really want to be quieter. I have the utmost for those people that don't say much, and then what comes out of their mouth is almost always the exact perfect thing to do. Since I never shut up, people stop listening, and since I have no filter, for every 20 bad ideas, I might have one decent one, but everyone understandably stopped listening after the first few bad ones...

I think I just need to get laid. It's been a frighteningly long time. No I won't admit to how long, it's that bad.


Danielle Michelle said...

You are just making me laugh! This is why we LOVE you!

AJ said...

The loud voice, I have it, too. I like to say "I have a voice that carries" it sounds pretty and fluffy that way...right?

I'm an interrupter and a sentence finisher, too. I can't help it!

karen c konkel said...

That last statement might be the problem especially here in the MKE area. UGH! Thank goodness I "re-met" my boy. We need to go out sometime like we said we should like a year or two ago.